I'm so glad I did that

The Sunday Night Review #178

I had a very quiet Friday night this week.

I’d had a busy few days, so I thought I’d stay in and watch the England v Albania football game.

But Albania were playing a deep low block, so the game was pretty boring.

Instead, I ended up going back in time, and watched some of my old YouTube videos.

For a period in 2021 and 2022, I was making a lot of videos about personal development and building a career you love.

To my surprise, there was a tonne of useful advice. I even learned a few things I’d completely forgotten.

But, there were also some absolute clangers in there.

I can’t believe how bad some of the first few videos were. Even the video quality is bad for some reason, it’s not like iPhone cameras were bad 3 years ago?

And this one has one of my favourite thumbnails of all time:

I literally couldn’t have made it more clear what the video was about.

I was awkward, nervous, and full of delusion.

And at the time, I was really stressed about the whole thing. Unnecessarily so. If I treated it as more of an experiment, and lowered the stakes in my mind, it could’ve been easier.

Instead, I felt like the whole world was watching, and was standing on the precipice of being cancelled by the internet at any moment.

Typical beginner YouTuber vibes.

But yep as expected, it was so worth it.

After I realised no one really cared, I was free to pursue work that was more meaningful to me, and genuinely exciting.

You almost always need to go through a period of looking stupid to get closer to what you want.

Often, that’s most of the cost.

Looking a bit stupid.

And you know what, I did actually look stupid. In hindsight, some of the videos I made were insane.

In one video, I just spoke about death for 10 minutes. I even remember texting my dad a link to watch it…

Some people I’m sure actually did think I had gone a bit nuts. Maybe some people even liked me a bit less for it.

But far more importantly, those closest to me supported it.

And I felt so much happier with the direction I was taking in my life.

The cost of looking stupid became something I would’ve paid over and over again.

An almost laughable cost.

The same with failure.

It became totally ridiculous to me to do anything else.

Wait, I only have to accept the idea that I might fail and I might look stupid to get to work on things that are exciting and important to me?

That’s it???

Um, yes please. I’ll take that trade any day of the week.

Why the hell would I worry about what other people think when I’m having lots of fun, learning about things I care about, and doing work that lights me up?

That’s insane, no???

But…until I started my YouTube channel, that’s what I thought!

The price of potential failure and looking stupid was not worth paying. It was too expensive to me.

I felt as though I literally couldn’t afford to pursue my dreams, because I would lose too much.

As a result, I was almost willing to trade 50+ years of working on things that light me up, and a life of meaning, for not looking stupid.

And the funny thing is, at that time, I really didn’t even know what lit me up or have a dream.

My dream extended to “I just wanted to be excited by what I’m working on, and feel like it’s a viable long term path”.

That was it. That’s all I really wanted. But I wouldn’t let myself try anything new or different because I was so scared of failure and judgement.

Today, that logic seems so insanely backwards to me.

So, past Tintin, you’re telling me that you’re willing to sacrifice being excited by your work, and pursuing something meaningful to you, because you’re worried about some people judging you, and the fact that you might fail? And in return, you may spend 50 years working on stuff you don’t care about or doesn’t light you up? You’re willing to sacrifice never trying, never having a go, never believing that things might work out, just because you’re a bit scared?”

Nuts!

I’m sure you relate to it in one way or another, because it’s human nature. It’s normal to care about looking stupid and about things going wrong.

The unlock comes though when you realise the stakes are lower than you think. We suffer more in imagination than in reality and all that stuff.

It’s crazy to say, but by far the best decision I have ever made in my life was to start a YouTube channel. It was the most high agency decision I’ve ever made, and it turns out it was the best one too.

And it’s nothing to do with money or status or anything like that.

It’s because it helped me become someone I actually wanted to be. Not someone that never had enough courage to get started in the first place.

So if you’re looking for a laugh and to make yourself feel better, my 5th ever video here might help. It gets pretty boring after 60 seconds though, just a warning.

But if you’re wanting some practical advice for how to think about this idea of “putting yourself out there on the internet” then check out this video here which I made 3 years ago.

It’s actually got some legit tips.

Always appreciate you reading and watching. Let me know in the comments if this resonated.

Have an epic week!

Tintin 🫡

P.s.

If you’re looking for a job in the creator space, my best mate Saf is hiring for an operations manager for his YouTube agency.

The business is flying right now, with multiple 5-figure clients, so it’s an awesome opportunity to learn a tonne and work closely with a top entrepreneur.

Click here to learn more about the role and apply.

Thanks for reading The Sunday Night Review!